The space between dimensions opens and closes without warning. Reality is fluid and only visible through the filter of time.
The space between dimensions opens and closes without warning. Reality is fluid and only visible through the filter of time.
The room smelled like sex, musty and damp with the faint, but distinct sent of latex. There was a trail of clothes leading to the bed, which is torn apart. The room had a yellow glow from the morning sun beaming through the curtains, burning off the night’s dew on a spider web outside the window and baking the spunk into the sheets.
She was still asleep, partially covered and spread across the bed. Her thong hung off the nightstand where it landed the night before. A half a glass of wine tattooed with lipstick sat next to an overflowing ashtray, the butts also marked with the same shade, her shade, strawberry-melon. She said she was going to quit, but then again, she’s said many things. I carefully step over a bottle of lubricant and picked up three condom wrappers, I threw them in the garbage with the others.
I pushed some clothes off a chair and sat down, peering out the window at the day ahead. She looked so content, satisfied even, stretching, she rolled over, a white trail crusted on the side of her cheek, starting at her mouth, and running back to her ear. I told myself it was drool.
The covers gently fell along the curves of her body as if meticulously laid out by the trained eyes of a photographer shooting a boudoir scene. This isn’t the first time we’ve been here; in fact, it was the third time this week. Things were getting out of control; actually, they had long been out of control. I steal one her smokes, fucking menthols. The room seems different from this angle as if only memories in some flashback like you see in movies, hazy and fuzzy. She looks good in this light, considering how messy she is after last night. It is surprising, she is not very attractive, I mean she is not ugly, but she isn’t beautiful either. If you saw her on the street, you’d probably wouldn’t even notice her. Although, for her age some would say she’s attractive, maybe even a M.I.L.F.
This is my routine at least three to five times a week. The room looks the same only the details change. Different brands of condom wrappers, the trail of clothes cataloging the pattern in which she was undressed, the wine is sometimes beer, or iced tea depending on the mood the night before. The sheets and the stains change, evidence of the position in which climax was achieved. Under a black light, her sheets must look like army camouflage, each pattern a different erotic story like snowflakes of DNA, no two alike or from the same donor for that matter.
She opens one eye and gives me a look, “how long have you been up?” “Only an hour,” I say. She checks the alarm clock and rubs her eyes. She says,” did you eat?” I reply, “no, I’m not hungry, I’ll get a cup of coffee later.” She says, “Honey, you have to eat something, let me make you some eggs”. She never listens to me. “No mom”, I say, “I'll get something on the way to school”.
That moment on the highway when you come-to and realize you don’t remember the last hour of driving. Though you have been here dozens of times, it all looks new and unfamiliar. You reach for a cigarette and struggle to find the pack, then it hits you that you quit smoking fifteen years ago.
First post or the last? I guess it depends on your point of view. Blogs are time machines. Something had to end in order to get to this starting point. Here is the last thing up until that point. Sometimes, the things left unsaid are better remembered. The answer to the question you didn’t ask, is yes; with all my heart.
Reality cannot live up to our imaginations.
What could have been will be sweeter than anything that would’ve been. I promise you. We aren’t what we imagine nor what we seem and so it’s better this way. We have something that’s never been touched and therefore is perfect and pristine.
Take from it what you will and use it for what it’s worth, then let it go. Go on and live, try to recreate it as best you can, but know it will never be as good as you imagined.